rectitude

rectitude (n.) – uprightness of conduct or principles

for your edification:  This one is a classic.  This word, "rectitude", sounds very similar to one of my favorite parts of the human anatomy to discuss; that’s right:  the rectum.  Well, it turns out all this rectal-discussing I’ve been doing reveals my lack of proper rectitude.  Boy is my face red!  You know when you say, “Shove it up your rectum” sometimes when you want someone to shove it up their rectum?  Well, you, too, are not demonstrating appropriate rectitude when you say such things.  Indeed, you are showing NO uprightness of conduct or principles when you provide this suggestion.  For, you see, it is not polite or upright conduct to instruct another to shove it up his or her rectum.  Next time, show some rectitude, won’t you?  

examplification -  Carl:  I cannot stop scratching and digging at my rectum today.  It will not stop itching.

Crazy Gina:  Geez, Carl.  Show some rectitude.  That’s really inappropriate behavior and completely disgusting.

Carl:  If an itchy rectum is wrong, I guess I would prefer to be right.