ablution

     ablution (n.) a cleansing or washing

for your edification:  Each and every SAT word can’t be dirty.  This word is the exact opposite of dirty.  It’s really clean, by definition.  Let’s examine.  Included in the word ablution are ab and lution.  Another day, another ab word.  The next half of the word is “lution.”  That sounds a lot like “lotion”, doesn’t it?  So, when you see the word ablution, why don’t you mentally read it as “ab lotion”?   You know what’s weird?  When you go to the beach, and guys’ (or abnormal oily chicks) have greased up their abs with lotion to make them all shiny and slick.  When I see a dude with greasy, lotioned abs, it always makes me sure that he grabbed a handful of lotion,  relocated his hand down to his dirties (his gens; his junk; his kit and caboodle; his old balls and chain; his Super Soaker; his March of the Penguin; his Arch Deluxe…you get the idea), and then transferred his hand from his dirties to his abs.  That is not ab lotion.  No; it is not!  So that is what I think of when I see greasy abs.  And, next, I think how desperately those smutty abs need a cleansing and a washing.  If abs are buried in lotion, they need an ablution. 

examplification – Paula:  Oh my gonads.  Why are your abs obscenely greasy?  It looks like your abs are covered in lotion and sin.  God, Sneaky Pete.  Can’t you ever abstain? 

Sneaky Pete:  It’s just lotion, dude.  I like to keep the machine well-oiled.

Paula:  Well, you have to wash them.   You seriously need a cleansing ablution for your abs and your soul.

Sneaky Pete:  Why does everyone always think I cover myself in jiz?  First my mom, now you, too?

Paula:  You dressed up as an ejac-u-lantern last year for Halloween.  You have a track record.

Sneaky Pete:  People change, man.  People change.