prolix

       prolix (adj.) – tediously wordy; drawn out

for your edification:  Here’s the thing:  there are some people out there who claim to be experts with their tongues.  Now, I’m not one to judge – maybe they are, and maybe they aren’t – but I’d imagine the requirements to go full-on professional licking squad are pretty intense.  Regardless, here’s some information I do know about those who possess superior tongue prowess:  just because individuals may have been blessed with exceptional tongue aptitude does NOT mean that they were blessed with the ability to speak in a clear and concise manner.  Precisely the opposite:  as it turns out, studies have shown that individuals with more capable licking skills (those with pro licks) are actually 81% more likely to speak in a tirelessly, tediously wordy and drawn out manner.*  It’s called prolix. 

Here’s the mathematical equation:   great lickers = boring, longwinded, toooooo many word-using speakers.   

Prolix.

* statistical analysis should not be considered truthful.

examplification – Birthmark Tony:  That date with Rhonda was an enormous crap sandwich.

Billy:  Rockin’ Rhonda?  She didn’t show you her tongue skills?  She could go All State in licking skills.  Hell, she could skip college and get in on the pro licks circuit.

Birthmark Tony:  That’s all well and good, but I wouldn’t know.  She just talked and talked and freaking wouldn’t shut up all night long.  Literally – every story was sooo drawn out and wordy and full of prolix that I couldn’t get a word in edgewise  - much less get my tongue in edgewise.

Billy:  Well, that’s the hazard of dating an amazing tonguer.  Amazing tonguing, unamazing wordiness and endless talking.

Birthmark Tony:  I’m not taking that chance again.  From here on out, I’m only gonna date those with mediocre tongue skills.

Billy:  It’s the sensible thing to do.