mendacious

           mendacious (adj.) – dishonest; lying

for your edification:  This one is BFF with another word that we know and love:  fallacious.  You recall old fallacious, right?  It’s the word that we remember by acknowledging that 98.283% or so of all men are lying about the size of their phallus.  We shared a laugh and a wink when we said fallacious sounded a lot like phallusacious.  Remember that?  Knew you would!  Aaah, men - always dishonest, frequently lying about the size of their this, or the legendary prowess of their that.  In other words, men are MENdacious.  If you ask men if they are mendacious, they’ll probably just be dishonest and lie about the fact that they are mendacious liars.  So don’t even ask.  Just remember that MEN are MENdacious, lying, dishonest people, all right?*

* look.  I fully realize** that all men aren’t mendacious liars.  Do you want to ace your SAT or not?  If so, then men are liars, dude.  Just go with it.

** In an effort to avoid being mendacious and man-like here, I must admit that I do not fully realize that all men aren’t mendacious liars.  I was saying that so I wouldn’t piss off anyone born with at least one testicle.  I’m clearly not trying to offend anyone all up in this piece. 

examplification – Marjorie:  I don’t understand why Skinny Jim said I was the only girl for him. What a liar!  He made out with, like, eight other girls at Oxface’s party last Saturday night.

Paula:  Marjorie, Skinny Jim was born with a scrotum.  His scrotum makes him a man.  The fact that he’s a man means he’s mendacious.  Your  boyfriend is a dishonest, mendacious liar.  It’s in his DNA.

Marjorie:  Science is the worst.

Paula:  The worst.