surreptitious

            surreptitious (adj.) – done secretly or stealthily

for your edification:  You wanna remember this one?  Here’s an easy way.  Sorry to get gross, but you aren’t reading Subversive Verbal to find a decent chicken pot pie recipe; you’re here to ace your SATs.  Anyway, let’s examine our word:  surreptitious.  It looks very similar to “syrup tittias”, which obviously makes you think of “syrup titties”, am I right?  (Of course I’m right.  And by the way, if you start viewing surreptitious as “syrup titties”, then it’ll be very simple to remember that surreptitious means done secretly or stealthily).

Indeed:  now that I mention it, the end of the word surreptitious,  “titious”,   is very similar to titties, or, as I like to call ‘em for simplicity’s sake:  your t’s.  Say, do you happen to know anybody who’s addicted to pouring syrup all over their tittias?  You probably aren’t even aware of anyone pouring syrup all over their t’s, but it’s not because they aren’t super-busy pouring syrup all over their t’s.  You aren’t aware because when people are in the habit of frequently pouring syrup all over their teeters, they’re usually keeping this incredibly sticky (albeit seemingly tasty and obviously fascinating) activity a secret.  I mean, when’s the last time you were sitting in precal and the chick in the back of the room says, “You know what I haven’t done in couple of days?  Bathed these here tittias in some delicious Canadian maple syrup.  I guess tonight is the night!”  No.  You haven’t heard a chick in your precal class say that, but, m’friends:  she’s doing it.  She’s surreptitiously soaking her tittias in syrup.  It’s her stealthy little secret.  Well, her’s and, now that I’ve let you in on it, ours. 

examplification  - Mitzi:  I still can’t believe Horseface Harriet won the Miss Southwest Pawtucky County Lovely Lady Pageant.  Not just ‘cause she’s ugly, but she’s mean as a snake, too.

Dirk:  She’s also a huge idiot.  But, it’s so obvious she won because of her super-shiny tittias.  It’s like you look into her chest and you see your soul staring right back at you.   

Mitzi:  It’s really weird, right?  Why are her boobs so distractingly, glisteningly reflective?  You don’t even notice her horse face with her mirrory teets  all up in your business.

Dirk:  You don’t know her secret?  She’s a surreptitious syrup tittier.

Mitzi:  A what?

Dirk:  Yeah.  She’s a syrup tittier.  She stealthily soaks her t’s in syrup when no one else is around.  She smells like the Pancake House all the time, but those shimmering teeters are so mesmerizing. 

Mitzi:  Wanna grab some breakfast?

Dirk:  Clearly.