flaccid

       flaccid (adj.) – limp

for your edification:  You may already know this one, because it’s a synonym of limp.  You know some teenage males, right?  Hell, you might even be one.  Nine times out of ten when you hear a teenage male use the word limp, he’s referring to his phallus.  The phallus is either limp, or it is not limp.  Okay.  I guess there’s an in-between limp and not-limp state of phallus, but in general, the phallus is either limp or not-limp or in-between limp and not-limp.  All right.  So where does flaccid fit in here?  Well, you need a way to remember that flaccid means limp.   Let’s just look at flaccid quickly.  In fact, let’s pretend that flaccid is made up of two words - contraction-like – and those words are flat and ass`ed (FYI:  in our pretend contraction world, we are pronouncing “ass`ed” as “ass-id” because, well, it helps fit our definition a little better).  Now, here’s some scientific information for you:  did you know that decades of important scientific studies and fascinating scientific research have (not) been performed, and those studies have (not) determined that flat asses are the number one attributes that cause the phallus to go limply flaccid?  Fact.*  So.  If you don’t already know that flaccid means limp, then please see flaccid as flat ass`ed and remember how those flat asses pretty much always** make the phallus go flaccid. 

* Not.

**  Of course not.

Examplification – Carl: Holy frijoles, have you seen Bernadette this year?  She lost about seventy pounds since the end of sophomore year and turned freakishly hot. 

Larry:  She doesn’t do it for me, man.  I was way more into her before.

Carl:  Before she became ridiculously good looking?

Larry:  Before her ass shriveled up and fell off.  I’m just not into the flat ass`ed.  They make me flaccid.

Carl:  Dude.

Larry:  What can I say?  It takes the Lord’s largess of a large ass to make little Larry less limp.

Carl:  Dude.