paradox

      paradox (n.) – a person, thing, or condition that apparently contradicts itself in nature

for your edification:  This word is great, because the word itself demonstrates its own definition.  I’ll show ya how, mmkay?  When you say “paradox”, think “pair of Docs,” as in a pair of Doc Martens.  You know what Doc Martens are, right?  Picture that dude you know who always wears flannel shirts over his stained cargo shorts.  You know the guy:  he writes music about his feelings (he feels a lot, and he feels deeply.  He feels deeply a lot.).  He also has a passion for running his fingers through his hair and Funyuns.  Okay.  You’ve pictured him.  Now look at his feet.  Those dirty, skuzzy boots he’s so unexcitedly excited to downtroddenly clomp around in are Doc Martens.  Yeah!  That guy!  Why, he’d have you think he doesn’t care – he just does not care! – about commercialism. No, no.  He appears to have spent about a buck sixty seven total on his entire ensemble.  That is what he would like you to believe.  But there on his feet, sitting atop his smelly tube socks live the ultimate paradox.  You see, our friend would have you believe that he does not care about his appearance; he would have you think that money should not be spent on frivolous items like clothes, or shampoo, or boots.  But, my friends, this is an idea that contradicts itself by its very nature.   You see, amigos, there has never been a pair of Dr. Marten boots that cost less than $100!  That is not cheap, pals.  That is not wearing the first pair of boots you find out of the nearest dumpster.  That is spending money on your attire!  The Doc wearer cares!  They’re expensive shoes designed to look like you don’t care about expensive shoes.  It’s a wonderful riddle; a pair of Docs is a paradox. Get it?

Examplification – Mitzi:  What are those horrible black boots on your feet?  Is this an effect of the economic downturn?  Are you poor now?

Muffy:  No, Mitzi.  I’m wearing a pair of Docs.  You obviously don’t recognize one hundred seventy one dollars’ worth of boots when you see them, do you?

Mitzi:  OMG.  Is underprivileged working-class chic back in style?   Fashion is such a paradox.  Now that I think about it, though, an ugly pair of Docs would look so hot with my prom dress.

Muffy:  Yeah.  Combat boots will totally contradict the overwhelming skankiness of your dress. 

Mitzi:  Thank you!