ineffable (adj.) – unable to be
described in words; unutterable
for
your edification: Remember when you were just an innocent
child, rocking Velcro on your shoes, toting string cheese in your lunch
box? Everything back then was so
innocent and pure, you know?
Caterpillars were fascinating; baloney sandwiches were a delicacy. But one day, as you were hunting for
four-leaf clovers during recess, a dark cloud passed over your head. Some
bigger kid – a smelly fourth grader named Danny, in my case – came along and taught
you the word that robbed you of your innocence and opened a can of worms that
could never be closed. You know the word
of which I speak. They don’t call it the
“g” word or the “m” word. No, of course
I am referring to the “f” word (the eff
word). Little pickle-faced Danny uttered the word that is supposed to be
unutterable, supposed to be inEFFable. Fast forward a couple years later,
and sausage-fingered Danny saunters up again, this time to teach you what the “eff” word really means. Ah, effing. Effing
eff. Greasy Danny didn’t really have
first-hand knowledge of effing, of course, but that didn’t stop him from trying
to describe it in words. But poor Danny got the details
wrong. He was unable to describe effing in
words. That one part doesn’t
actually go there, and while that
other part can go there, it doesn’t
always go there. Effing, to Danny, was really ineffable. So when you think of the “eff word”, remember
– if you have nice manners, it should be unutterable,
and if you are a fat-ankled nine year old, the act of “effing” is ineffably unable to be described in words.
Easy.
examplification
- Gina: What in
God’s name is that effing shirt you’re wearing, Gary? It’s, like, plaid and sleeveless and lights
up and has pictures of some chick’s naked boobs all over it. I can’t
even describe in words how effing ugly that shirt is.
Gary: Your taste is whack. What is ineffable
to you is effing awesome to me.
Gina: Eff yourself.
Gary: Just did before I got here.
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